Week 39

 I really don't know how to describe this week so there is no title for it. Everything is just weighing down on me more from test scores to college applications and it is all just a lot to manage. I always just feel like giving up on everything. It's been a rough week even with the 4 day weekend where I am managing some stuff in my life as well. I decided to make the post on Tuesday since that is the day before school starts this week. It feels like I have less people to depend on now and it feels like I have to prove myself to everyone that I am worth it. This feels like the only way to win back people that I have lost. I feel like I am not enough and that there are better people out there than me to be friends with. I will push myself harder to get to this goal and get to where I feel like I can respect myself and so others can also respect me. 

Anyways, enough about me, school is finally in full swing now, and we've even had a home football game already. There have been many tests and quizzes for me as well, but it is surprising how much better senior year is compared to junior year, many of our tests are open notes which makes them much easier. There are of course loads of homework still and it is due to pile up as well once clubs get into full swing as well. I have already started with Tri-M, BPA, and Science Olympiad. There have been many Math Team meetings, but I have had conflicts with BPA and Golf so I haven't been able to make them yet. I am already feeling the stress of the school year and I wanted to just crash after school on Friday (which I did). Honestly, it is nice though since it gives me something to do and distract me when I need it, I think working hard is needed for results. Sometimes, I get lazy and with this amount of work, if I give up, I won't be enough so I have to push through. 

Today, Science Olympiad Rules came out and I have a rough idea on what to do. I have had many nice encounters with strangers online about many of the events I plan to do such as Flight with Coach Chuck and David Zeigler (The creator of the kit I use), and others on discord with events like Scrambler and It's About Time. I'm really excited for this season and I hope that I can do well in the state competition. Even though I have no interest in majoring in any of the events I like to do, I still think it's fun and I have a feeling they will come in handy eventually. 

All in all, I have faith that this year will turn out good and I can have a fun year. I want to be as social as possible (even though that didn't work out much for summer), I'm doing as much as I can to be involved with school activities. It's kind of scary seeing High School end soon and college starting soon. It seemed exciting last year to finally be moving on to the next step of life, but now I'm not sure. 

Anyways, that's it for this week, there wasn't much to talk about and I'm just not really feeling it right now. Thanks for reading!

-Charlie